Finding Home Abroad: Navigating the Frustrations and Joys of New Journeys

Finding positives in meltdowns.

For sale.

Yesterday I had a mini meltdown, so my day ended with me watching a couple of episodes of a completely insane show that I feel a bit disturbed about.

Eating chocolate cake and took out what I thought was a sushi bowl, and it ended up being salmon on top of raw veggies. It was disgusting; luckily, I had a bag of chips and cake to soothe my soul.

I am still thinking about how messed up the show is called Dead Ringers on Amazon. Is anyone watching or watching it? Of course, I will continue watching it later, as I need clarification about what is happening.

Today I feel a bit more hopeful; yesterday, my world was crumbling around me, as that is what happens when a meltdown occurs, right?

My entire world was black, and the only way out was, well, apparently, bad food and a distraction. I have been working on a few projects, and yesterday, I wondered what was the purpose of it all and why I am still here, in Colombia.

I rented an apartment for the week because I needed to be alone, and now I wonder if a week is too long. Luckily when I woke up, I felt less doom and gloom and more hopeful.

I will be leaving Colombia at the end of May, and I am not sure I will be back for a while.

The other day on the bus, a drunk old Colombian told me to buy his farm. I started to wonder whether I wanted to buy a farm in a country that had so much red tape to live in; the culture so different from mine, and the language.

Even if I spoke fluent Spanish, would I ever understand the culture?

Can I live in a country just for the landscapes? My answer at this point is no. Being the outsider is getting a bit frustrating.

It may be good that I have a few weeks left; a change will be good for me. I am headed to Israel, technically my motherland. My grandparents would be so proud; I am going to meet my sister, she has to go to work.