i have often had these thoughts, although these days i don't care that is what age does to you. I havent worn makeup in about 3 months. often times my boyfriend touches my face to wipe away dirt (i am a farmer now) i cut the plantain trees the other day and scraped myself up to high heaven. Yet even without makeup and messy hair, every man in town talks to me because i am gringa, blue eyed light skinned and "exotic" which i am not. I am average and work my angles!!

i have never modeled nor wanted to. i just want to play with my dog and boyfriend and be dirty and happy.

I now just take one photo and say f it, maybe i am now ugly who knows who cares. Maybe i always was and people were just nice to me..