I stayed with men i dispised because I was afraid to be alone. I got drunk at bars and found men that were "ok" for the night and maybe a few dates. I always drove them away also because, I was a toxic gf, toxic to myself, and to anyone in the way of my destruction.

I finally learned to be alone, when i started to get help. I am currently in a weird situation and trying to figure it out as i write this.. i am not afraid to be alone, but also sometimes i am afraid of hurting others who are hurting.. i am still not fully healed.. and will i ever be..?