oh man, yes to all of this. i was talking to a friend of mine the other day who is very similar to me, and she went out and drank after 10 months of sobriety and she felt such guilt and shame, even though she did nothing wrong. but that feeling i know all too well, i will not touch it again either, and recently this week i realized that i can be with someone whos life is revolved around drinking and partying.. side note ha.. great read. so freaking true.