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Am I Unlovable or Unable to Love? A Realization of What Love Means To Me
I often think that love is for other people, those who deserve it.
On other days, I believe love is made up to distract us. Neither of those is true love, as both can be taken away and distorted and manipulated, which is not love.
Over the past year, I have tried to process and analyze what happened in my previous relationship. As many days, I feel that I have already pulled myself up from the pits of hell, and isn’t that good enough?
Isn´t that self-love?
Well, no, it was me again not investigating what was at the bottom of that pit that I was escaping. Instead, I thought that to love, you have to have someone to love.
I realize it is part of it, but love is never about finding someone to fit in with what you think, and if you give it, you must receive it, too; it is not love and is only a transactional relationship.
I took the past year to essentially date myself and figure out that the broken pieces I hold inside of me are only reflecting that of another. For so many years, I looked for love in other places, in other people, and anything except within myself.
A year off from dating and men and…
