When you are sober, dating a drinker is more challenging than you might think.

When I first quit drinking, I was single and not dating.

Sara Burdick
4 min readMay 24


La Boca, Argentina..

I had no plans of dating for at least a year; I had attended AA meetings in the past, and I remember that being one of the most critical parts of sobriety, working on yourself and learning to be with yourself and your feelings without the influence of someone else around you.

Writing this now, I would like to say it was all rainbows and kittens, but in the first year of sobriety, it is crucial to stay single if you are already single.

However, if you are with someone, that is a different story I will not tell as it is not my experience, I defer to Michele Maize for those stories.

Luckily, I started what feels like my 100th attempt at sobriety during the pandemic, an excellent reason to not date, not go out and sit and stew in my miserable life, or at least that is what I told myself.

Finally, I had an excuse not to go out and be around others who were a bad influence on me and working from home, so I did not leave my house.
However, life became a bit questionable after a year, and restrictions were lifted.

Can I go out and be around people without drinking? Is it possible most of us drinkers have extreme social anxiety? Well, at least I do. I am better behind a keyboard talking than face to face.

When I was dating previously, the dates involved going out for a beer or a glass of wine. Now not only would I have to explain that I don’t drink before or when I get to the date.

It happened so often; I just decided I would order a soda water with lime when I showed up. Sometimes I would get questions, and it always leaves me to question.

Why is alcohol the only toxic substance we get asked why we don’t drink it?

If I say no to a crack pipe, cocaine, cigarettes, weed, or heroin, no one blinks an eye. Yet, if I say no to an alcoholic beverage, I automatically get lumped into the alcoholic label.

Which I’m afraid I have to disagree with. I used alcohol as a bandaid to cover up my…



Sara Burdick

I quit the rat race after working as a nurse for 16 years. Travel and Storyteller. https://linktr.ee/saraaliceburdick